I’ve lived in this house for over thirty-five years. When I first bought it (actually it was ‘we’ but I dislike using the word ‘we’ when it comes to my ex), there was no deck, only a small cement patio and no sliding glass door. My ex built the deck several years after we moved in and we remodeled the dining room replacing two windows with the sliding glass door. It was a great improvement.

But if you’ve ever lived in a house with a wood deck, especially one built thirty years ago, you know that much upkeep needs to be done. The Great Hunter has replaced most of the deck boards over the years and I’ve screened (twice) and painted it. The deck was built with 2″x4″ boards. I don’t know why my ex chose this size board as most decks are built with 2″x6″ or larger. The original deck had a corrugated clear plastic roof. When I had my roof replaced about twenty years ago, the roofer said he could not replace the plastic as the roof wasn’t square. How my ex got it on there, I don’t know so I had to settle for a rubber shingle roof. Not what I wanted because it made the deck completely dark and took away any direct sunlight into the dining room.

Although I had screened the deck, there was never a door. About fifteen years ago, I decided to frame a doorway and put in a screen door. I did this all myself and I was so proud of what I had done! As with most of the other wood, over the years, the ends of the boards on the frame began to rot. Two years ago, we replaced the left side of the frame and I attempted a repair of the right side near the bottom using wood hardener and filler. That lasted for about two years, but this spring, we knew we had to replace that wood too.

I’ve written before about what happens when the Great Hunter and I attempt a project together. He decided he needed to replace the entire board instead of just “marrying” the boards like he did on the other side. That was fine with me and he went to the garage to get a board. He came back with a board that he was going to use and I mentioned that it was not the same size board, instead of a 2″x4″, it was more of a 1.5″x3″. Now I know that 2″x4″s are no longer really 2″ by 4″s but this board was even smaller. Me: “Let’s go buy a board.”

He then said he had another board in the garage trusses he could use. That board was at the very bottom of the stack of wood and it was painted blue. Again, “Let’s just go buy a board” was my suggestion, but he poo-pooed that idea. He dug that board out but then found that it was damaged. (It should be mentioned here that the board was up there when I bought the house.) Again, I suggested we go buy another board and his comment was that I could take my car and go buy one. I reminded him that his truck was in the driveway behind my car…

“I have another board,” he said and brought out what seemed to be the correct size and in good condition…until I turned it over. What was he thinking!!!! “Lets just go buy a board!!!”

So we did. In fact, we bought two…and saw blades…and sewer drain cover…and spray paint.

After that stumbling block, we were able to get the job done. We both lived and there was no bloodshed, at least not a lot.