Each spring, I hold my breath waiting for my backyard nemesis to sprout leaves. When all the other trees in the neighborhood are starting to get leaves, the old cottonwood just stands there naked and I swear it does this just to taunt me. We have several other cottonwood trees in the neighborhood that line the creek and all those trees were already budding. Is this the year that my cottonwood decides it’s going to die?

Ever since the pine tree I had in the backyard fell against the house at my bedroom window one winter during an ice storm, I’ve been afraid of the big cottonwood falling. For a lot of years, whenever it stormed, I’d make a pallet on the floor next to the bed with the (of course false) thought that somehow the bed would save me.

I knew I couldn’t afford to have the tree taken down, so I settled for having the large limb that hung over the backyard closest to the house cut down. That gave me some peace of mind, thinking that it would alleviate some of the weight of the tree toward my house.

A couple of years ago we had been out to dinner and were standing in the vestibule of a restaurant when a violent storm came through. Lightning struck the street right in front of the building and it felt and sounded like an explosion. After the storm let up, we went home and the next morning, while walking through the backyard, I found pieces of bark strewn across the backyard. I looked up at the tree and it was obvious that it had been struck by lightning. The first year after this lightning strike, I held my breath waiting for the tree to bud, afraid that the lightning strike had killed it and I would have to have it cut down.

Not that having it cut down would bother me all that much, except for the cost. I had a professional arborist evaluate the tree and he said it would just be a matter of time before the tree died. He also told me that, due to the tree’s location, the only access to cut it down would be through the neighbor’s yards behind me. Yikes.

So needless to say, when I noticed today that the tree was finally budding, I was thrilled. Although I dislike the cottonwood that falls off the tree every June, and it begins to loose its leaves in August, I realize that if the tree were not there, I would miss it and feel guilty for cutting it down. Sigh.