Blessings come when we need them most and sometimes when we don’t expect them.  On May 17, a Facebook memory photo from ten years ago came through my feed of my son and daughter-in-law and our retired Pastor on their wedding day. It was ironic that this was a photo with the Pastor as I had been talking with other choir members about him and his wife not being in choir for some time. The Facebook post gave me the nudge I needed to reach out to him.  I emailed him this photo and told him I hoped he and his wife were doing well.

He responded with good wishes for my family and wrote that he just might be sending some daily devotions.

Three years ago today my brother Steve passed away. Six months before he died, I lost my stepdaughter to suicide. I’ve grieved greatly for her, but my grief is nothing compared to the extreme grief that Rene (Steve’s wife) has endured these last three years. It terrifies me to think of grief so strong it cripples your life and then I received this from Pastor…from Paul Devantier, President of By The Way Today.org, a Lutheran Minister.

Lights ON

Are you a afraid of the dark?  I was very afraid of the dark when I was little.  At bedtime, I would say to my parents: “Don’t shut the door.” Or “Don’t turn out the light.” I don’t know what I was afraid of.  Things that go bump in the night? I don’t know; I was just afraid.

I still get afraid; not so much of the dark but rather of losing someone I love .  When I was little, one of my biggest fears was losing my parents.  Now that they are gone to be with Jesus, I have fear of losing others near and dear to me.

It shouldn’t surprise you then that this verse from the Bible is one that I pray a lot:

“You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
    my God turn my darkness into light.” Psalm 18:28”

            You know he hasn’t failed me yet.

I’m always amazed at the power of prayer. I pray for things that maybe I shouldn’t. My grandson has worked so very hard to be the best baseball player he can be and he’s achieved great success. When he is standing at the plate ready to bat, I’m not beyond asking God that he get a hit because I know what it means to him. I did that. He got a hit and grounded out. I had my answer.

I realized then that maybe I wasn’t praying in the right way. Instead of asking that God bless him individually, maybe I should ask that what my grandson did benefited the team, not just a personal goal for him but more like, “there’s no ‘I’ in team.” When he got up to bat the next time, I just prayed that whatever he did at the plate would be to the benefit of his team. And guess what. God answered this prayer and he got a base hit.

At the last home game of his senior year, he was at bat with two outs in the bottom of the seventh inning. His team was behind by one run with two runners on base. What could be more stressful? I prayed again that whatever he did would benefit his team and God blessed him abundantly. He hit a single that drove in two runs and won the game. I was jumping up and down screaming with tears running down my cheeks. I hugged my son and said “I’m not crying, you’re crying!” What a wonderful blessing he had been given. “Thank You Lord!”

My younger brother said that he knew today would be hard on my sister-in-law as it was with all of us. But truthfully, today isn’t any harder than any other day without Steve. He’s gone to heaven. I’m glad I know he’s there, but I wish he was here with us so when I’m down and crying I pray, “God, turn my darkness into light.”